Average Joe: "How I was blackmailed into destroying our oceans and everything within"

Dear John,

when you receive this letter I will already be dead. I am truly and deeply sorry for finally having to take that step, but maybe you will understand by the end of this letter.

You know how it was my decision to authorise the drill for oil only 150km from the Southern Ocean Whale Sanctuary last year. You saw my suffering, my fear, my helplessness, but you never understood why I was so terribly afraid. I knew that it was too risky to drill for oil there. Anything can happen at any time in these regions, the weather is unpredictable and so are the oil fields. These reserves are not explored enough, and we do not know how to react to the potential risks and dangers there.

Yet I approved of the drill. Me, who was the first CEO of HansonOil who ever cared about nature, cared about animals and wanted to find a middle course between men's greed for oil and conserving our ever so fragile ecosystem.

I authorised this catastrophic drill, and now everything's lost.

What made me take this decision is something so common at the moment, I should have expected it to happen to me as well. They blackmailed me. I don't know who it was, but they said that, should I not approve of the drill, they would kill me. But not the humane way with a bullet in the head or a decent amount of poison, they threatened to infect me. When I read that message I could only think of Jack Glomber. There was nothing but his picture in my head. How he suffered throughout the two years after his infection. How the doctors thought they'd cured him over and over again, yet after a week he was coughing blood again. It never ended until he jumped off that bridge. Honestly, I don't think it would ever have ended. The doctors found treatment for his symptoms but never a cure for his - yes, what was it? I only know that he took many unpopular decisions, and that his illness was not natural. His first symptom showed only two weeks after his decision to ban nuclear power plants in Australia. And you know his last words before he jumped off that bridge: "I regret nothing, it was the right decision".

I did not want to approve of this horrific drill, but fear pushed me there. And then, only two months after the drill started it happened. The worst oil spill in human history. Even worse than the one in 2020, and everyone thought that was impossible. Do you know that the oil has not even stopped to spill yet? It's been eight months now, and we were not able to find the leak. Oil still spills out of this stupid hole in the ground, all into our beautiful oceans. Almost half of the liquid surface of our planet is covered with this disgusting oil, and there's barely any life left in our oceans. Which will lead to human extinction as well. There's no way out.

In retrospect I was selfish. Overly selfish. I could have endured an infection, and if not I could have killed myself. I should never have given in to these terrorists or whoever they were! I only bought myself a few months, but now I don't want to live anymore. I just can't stand the guilt anymore. It's overwhelming.

I don't want your forgiveness, I just want you to understand why I did it - even though I hardly understand myself anymore. After all you are the only person I ever truly loved, I am so sorry that this has lead to our divorce.

Please forgive me, and never make the same mistake,
love,

Jennifer Millton