12/05/2014

How to kill Hitler in 7 simple steps!

Here are simple step-by-step instructions on how to kill Hitler. Follow the steps as precisely as possible and everything will go well. No creativity needed or allowed.
Material list:

  • time travelling machine
  • gun 
  • many bullets
  • appropriate clothing


  1. Find a gun and a time travelling machine. Make sure both of them work properly and you know how to use them. 
  2. Before using the time travelling machine make sure you have the gun and a sufficient amount of bullets with you. It is possible that you have to kill more people than just Hitler.
  3. Choose the appropriate date for your murder. Be careful about the season and the time of the day as well. If you choose a cold winter day, make sure you wear clothes and shoes that suit the weather conditions. HINT: the weather conditions should not hinder you, so I recommend choosing a nice spring day without rain or something similar.
  4. Make use of your time machine and travel to the desired date. HINT: No bother if you can’t find the time today, it won’t make a difference if you do it tomorrow or in a week’s time.
  5. Leave the time machine and kill the bastard and everyone else who’s in your way. HINT: This is not the time to be sentimental, if you’re a sensitive soul you should consider outsourcing this task.
  6. Get back into your time travelling machine as quickly as possible - preferably before you get caught or killed and travel back to your own time.
  7. Go on with your life as if nothing ever happened. We want this to stay our little secret, don’t we?

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